And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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