He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
