Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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