i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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