he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
