ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
