Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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