Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
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Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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