I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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