She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
