He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Randomize
