I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
