At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
