i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
