So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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