i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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