Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
