So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
