Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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