Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
