If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
