were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
