yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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