What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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