Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
