piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
