I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
