and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
