I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just fell off a train. Bad.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
