how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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