first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish you could order shots online.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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