Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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