Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Pants are for mortals
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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