Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
