And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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