ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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