rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
