16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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