"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
