He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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