Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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