Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize