we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
