U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just threw up on my dentist
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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