he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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