Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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