ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
