So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize