HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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