I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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