Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
