I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
