I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
