My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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