How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Can you bring me the toilet please
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
