seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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