Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
