1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
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I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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