clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
