we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
