we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize