so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
