so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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