So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
