btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
