Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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